Wednesday, March 12


S PANDITA - VGD LMJ - MMD3307 LOGOS... - 005

Wills dissolve in the face of adversity. The cyberworld is so foreign to our sensibilities that any failure to connect is met with abject hopelessness. Thus, as I jack in from a filthy public terminal after waiting in line for hours, a sense of safety rushes over me and I breathe a sigh of relief. Being cut off from a world that is less real but has more to offer leaves one challenging the very nature of their existence along with the implied purpose of said existence.

The day began with a head full of ideas and a list of objectives, but my project has been impeded by a world going on that I have become relatively oblivious to. Perhaps I take for granted the state of the art laboratories that are provided for our tasks. For when they are denied of me due to some menial lower-level procedural run through I feel outraged, then panicked. At first I wonder how they can justify standing in the way of a high level mission, then I am frustrated because I know that whatever they are doing couldn't possibly require my specialised equipment. They should be down here, not I. It's horribly humid in here and reeks of too many people in an enclosed space. How bothersome. More urgently is the reality that my work will fall behind as I am due to present my initial findings tomorrow morning. So dependent on technology am I that without it I cannot perform any noteworthy task. So involved with my personal investigations I failed to hear anything about this organised crime until it was far too late to do anything but be thrown out of my own lab, IDN cables still dripping data. Fascinating.

Truly this is a day of frustration. Earlier I bartered with a bureaucrat over an access upgrade. It was the third time we had met and she knew full well. Alas once more my application was rejected due to lack of correct paperwork. According to her computer, I was not listed as on board this vessel. Nor, according to the database, had I supplied the correct ULX proofs. I tried to assure her that I was indeed on board this vessel, but the computer's indications were not hers to question. When I asked what she propose I do about it she suggested I leave and then re-apply for a position without once considering the insanity of the statement. I told her that the ULX proof I submitted had been provided by her in the first interview, at which point it had already been a copy of a copy of a copy. When I asked her how to possibly obtain the original she told me that it must have existed for their to be a copy and that finding it should not be beyond my abilities. Once more the insanity was not considered. The ability to interact with people on an empathic level has been lost, perhaps forcibly removed? Certainly, when their greedy little eyes swing back and forth, they see where their income is sourced. They see a master in the machine and a nuisance at their window.

Never the less, I have indeed been appointed to this position for significant reasons. One of such is my resolute insight. With this in mind I have the following to offer: Our dependence on technology has already become second nature. Our ability to wield it is assumed. To this end the plight of our kind already seems hopeless. When separated from my equipment I become useless. When the people making the decisions will ignore the perfectly reasonable human being sitting right in front of them in favour of a number in a database glowing on their screen.

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